christ has died, have some cake

Happily, I write to tell you what I did today in Ohio, where I am spending the holiday with my favorite people. Yes, Christ has died, but that is not the big news. My gorgeous, perfect nephew turned one today, and we have just come home from his birthday party. He is a little scooter now, crawling like a pro, getting into everything, and jabbering up a storm. He is such a darling, and I swear my heart breaks a little bit every time I see him. At his party was lots of family, as well as many friends of my brother and his wife, who have kids of their own. There was the newly-walking sixteen-month-old who LOVES to play with sports balls, and the almost four-month old with the chubbiest cheeks you have ever seen. She has started smiling, and spent the afternoon happily laying on the floor and drooling as much as she could.

There are still moments of disbelief that my brother is a father, and the new generation is upon us. I mean, does it ever become real, and sink in? Will I always feel a little confused about where I fit into the world? Can you ever just step back and look at the big picture, instead of staring at the individual brush strokes trying to figure it all out? I don't know, maybe these heavy thoughts are all the sugar from the cake and coke talking....or maybe this is what being an adult is: admitting that the world is crazy, that I love my nephew more than pie, and always wondering what it all means.

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