inside my head

First, let me again by apologizing for my absence. As I believe most of you know, I was recently promoted and am now actually planning events at the event management firm that I work at. My first event is next Wednesday, and it has pretty much taken over my life.

Secondly, "The Inside Man" is a fabulous movie. I actually saw it last Sunday, so this may or may not be a great review. The movie takes place at a bank in Manhattan where a robbery is taking place lead by the fabulous Clive Owen. I adore this man...he is gorgeous, expressive, interesting, and I'm sorry friends, claimed by my friend Ellen. Anyway, Denzel Washington is brought in as the hostage negotiator, and very worthy adversary to Clive. Jody Foster is in it, and she is fine, but this movie is all about the boys. I don't want to give too much away, because it is a great movie, and it is worth going in there without any plot points. Suffice it to say that me, the movie whore that I am, saw on twist coming, and one not coming. Bonus: the movie is hilarious!

Final thought: Head to the movies for the best popcorn movie of the year so far!

photo credit: www.movieweb.com

coming out! a new segment

Because I have very little else in my life...I thought I would add a sort of fun column to my blog to be added when I feel like it. It will be called coming out! And in it I will reveal something about myself that is a sort of secret or something that I may hide to some people. I truly hope no one is offended, because I certainly don't mean to be offensive. I just think it is kind of fun to talk about me...and this somehow makes it more okay.

So...tonight I am coming out about my love of lifetime movies, and especially any that have to do with pregnancy. I am kind of obsessed with pregnancy and pregnant people. My poor sister-in-law cringes when I come near her hands outstretched hoping to study her stomach like a mad scientist. This week alone I have recorded "Babies" and "Inconceivable" which annoyingly was cut off and I never got to see if the main girl gets out of being arrested to go and have the insemination done. I love that crap! The drama.....it pulls me in. I also get super excited about any movies based on Danielle Steele novels. Inevitably they are about an actress who gets involved with a "normal guy" and the drama that relationship creates. It makes me sad to think that I am living a prophecy that someone in my high school probably foretold saying I would be a single woman living in New York with a cat watching Lifetime movies. How depressing to be so predictable!

photo credit: www.blujay.com (I am so embarrassed...I totally watched this today starring Patrick Duffy and Ben Affleck!)

v is for victory!

My roommate and partner-in-crime and I finally returned to our roots last night and went and took in a film. We saw "V for Vendetta". I was intrigued to see what the Wachowski brothers (creators of "the Matrix" trilogy) would come up with next, and he because of his undying passion for Natalie Portman. So, at 5:15pm, I turned off my computer (carefully saving everything first) and walked outside to the sweet smell of weekend freedom. We saw the movie at the Loews on 34th street, my favorite theatre in the city. I guess the first thing to say is that I thought this film was brilliant. The main gist is that there is a terrorist called "V", and he is going to blow up parliament on November 5th. He asks that people march with him there to show the government that they are no longer going to stand for how the government is being run, and how the citizens are treated. The citizens are constantly under surveillance by wire-tap (hmmm), and art/tv/everything is being censored by the FCC...I mean some organization. Also, they are carting people off who are subversive and potential threats and they are being imprisoned and tortured with no court of law (yeah....). A young girl (Portman) is out one night past curfew and some police try to encourage her to play by the rules. Enter the masked avenger to save the day. The movie is complicated, unforgiving, dark, passionate, scary, funny, beautiful, and every other feeling that it can be. I adored this movie, and now, even after 24 hours I am still thinking about it, being scared, challenged, shaking my head at the ridiculousness and likeliness that this is where the world is going. I enjoyed this movie so much, and hope that you will go and check it out. Natalie Portman (I am not her biggest fan...people that petite make me nervous) is incredible. Hugo Weaving proves once again that the Aussies seem to have the best actors. Beware though...this film is not for the feint of heart. There is some hard-core violence and disturbing images. It is worth being uncomfortable though.

Final thought: A government secretly listening to it's citizens? Ridiculous. Run to the theatre and see this brilliant movie.

photo credit: www.movieweb.com

giant rat

Seriously, this was at the same exact spot as the man with the box of fish. It just gets more and more curious...

they're back!

Every winter, there is a six-week window in which traveling around the city is fun and easy. This is known as the non-tourist season. Suddenly, the sidewalks keep moving, getting on and off the train is a breeze, and you can do what you want without having to smile at anyone. I love those few precious weeks of peace and solitude. That time has sadly now come to an end. As I was walking to the theatre through Times Square Sunday, I simply had to hang my head in sadness. Gone were the efficient lines of single-file people weaving their way uptown. Instead, it was a sea of bright colors. Families clumped together, six across, clutching their purses in one hand, and their digital camera in the other. Groups of ten standing around a map trying to figure out where Central Park is. Children running around. Adults running around. People standing around staring up at buildings, signs, anything shiny. It is beyond annoying. There are certain rules that everyone should follow when visiting New York. Here are some of them:

1. Do not walk down the street with more than two (2) people across. It is rude and inconvenient.
2. Think of walking on NYC sidewalks like driving...don't stop suddenly to look at something. Instead, guide yourself slowly to the side and stop there.
3. Plan where you are going before you leave the hotel/hostel/place you're staying. Have a route in mind before you leave so you don't need to accost others on the train for directions, or stop and stand in a clump of 14 in the middle of the sidewalk looking at a map and/or directions.
4. Don't walk through a door and stop to consider your options. This goes for both the subway and everything above ground. Keep moving so that the many, many people may get in or out behind you.
5. Umbrella warfare. (see previous blog)

I think these are good starting points...I am sure many things will annoy me at a later date and I will revisit this again. Until then...happy touring with common sense!

photo credit: www.images.picturequest.com

going barefoot in new york

Once a month I try to attend a Broadway show of some sort while I am habitating here in good ole New York City. This month that show was "Barefoot in the Park". I enjoyed this show for many reasons. First, the actors were all wonderful. Secondly, the man next to me asked me if I was a student. Ah, the days of academia....back when I was a youth, a youth in the city of dreams. Those days are long gone, but it was nice to reminisce with the nice man from Washington State for a moment. Okay, back to the show. Amanda Peet and Patrick Wilson play the two lovers, and they are charming. I am a fan of Amanda Peet's films, including "Syriana", "A Lot Like Love" and "Something's Gotta Give". She was quite fun in this play....so skinny though. You haven't seen thin until you have seen a movie star in person. It is both depressing [sigh] and amazing fun to try to figure out how they keep themselves standing. All I can say is I bet she hasn't had a burrito in a really long time. (Damn Chipotle and their delicious burritos that are reasonably priced!) Patrick Wilson is the new "IT" boy for me. He is a Broadway veteran ("The Full Monty" and "Oklahoma") and is now becoming a force in film. He stars this year with Kate Winslet (my all time favorite actor!) in "Little Children", a film in which they are cheating on their respective spouses with one another. It looks dark and fabulous. Well, let's face it...even if it was total crap, I would so see it because Kate Winslet is in it. She is so good. And, so is he. Together, Mr. Wilson and Ms. Peet are charming, sexy, and good fun. The play is what it is...two opposites trying to make it work. (I did have an epiphany moment when I realized that this play was what the TV show "Dharma and Greg" was based on. I may be slow, but at least I smell bad...wait)[brief pause to feed the cat who was beginning to make this weird moaning/growling sound that was totally creeping me out.] The show also features Jill Clayburgh and Tony Roberts who are both great. All in all, it was a lovely afternoon. I know I am super shallow, but there is something quite fun is seeing movie stars doing good work on the Broadway stage. Adds a little glamour to an otherwise normal Sunday.

photo credit: www.playbill.com
photo credit: www.discoverkate.com

no....thank you for smoking!

Every once in a while, you see a movie that is satiric, dark, morbid, and abso-freaking-lutely hilarious. I had that today. I went and took in "Thank You For Smoking" at Loews 68th Street. First of all, the theatre was full, and it was an audience that was ready to enjoy themselves. I love that about NYC movies. The freaks are there to have a good time. Yeah freaks! So, this movie...where to start. It centers on the always amazing Aaron Eckhart as a pro-tobacco lobbyist. He does his thing, and man is he good at it. Every week he meets his friends, David Koechner (pro-gun lobbyist) and Maria Bello (pro-alcohol).[Bonus: Maria Bello is currently filming with Gerard Butler...one of my ultimate faves!] Sorry, I digress. Unfortunately, tobacco is losing the battle...and they need new spin to get back in the game. I don't want to give too much away here in case you go and check it out. Trust me...it is hilarious, biting, painful, and fabulous. How can you not love a movie with the following quotes?

"The state of Vermont will not apologize for it's cheese!"
OR
"I'm sure both of you warrant vigilante justice."

Final thoughts: Run, don't walk, to this movie. Hilarious. Who knew smoking was so funny?

photo credit: www.movieweb.com
photo credit: www.gerardbutler.net

don't judge me!

After seeing the fabulous "Thank You For Smoking", I wandered into another movie. (I acknowledge that this is wrong, and children...don't do it!) Anyway, I saw a movie that many will most likely mock me for seeing. The thing is, I adore teeny bopper movies, and don't think they are stupid crap. I know that the many people I took "The Prince and Me" to will judge....but please don't! The movie was good fun for the whole family. I saw "She's the Man" starring Amanda Bynes. I admit that this film will most likely not receive any nominations for Oscars, or even People Choice Awards, but I totally enjoyed it. I thought it was funny, and silly, and quite frankly, the most attractive person ever might be in it.
The movie is mildly based on "Twelfth Night". Viola wants to play soccer. However, her high school cancels the women's program, and through a series of plot points she ends up going to her brother's new boarding school masquerading as her twin. She falls in love with her roommate (most attractive boy ever), the roommate loves Olivia, and Olivia loves Viola pretending to be Sebastian. I love David Cross who appears as the school principal...a creepy man who wants to bond with his students. Bonus points for Julie Hagerty (I love "Airplane"!) who shows up as the mom. All in all, if you like attractive young men running around playing soccer this is the movie for you!

Final thoughts: Not really worth paying for....but fun to watch. And seriously, it has what might be the most attractive person ever in it.

photo credit: www.movieweb.com

reality tv

I am not one to watch reality television. I have always told people that I don't watch it....but the truth is perhaps slightly different than what I have been telling people. The true statement should be that I don't watch reality competition tv. I don't watch "Survivor" or "American Idol" or "Amazing Race" or any of those others. I do watch...and I am slightly ashamed....reality shows about celebrities. Right now, I am very into "#1 Single" which is a show on E! that chronicles Lisa Loeb as she works on her next album and searches for love. It is such trashy fun. This week, she confronted this actor Michael that she is dating, asking him if he wants to have children right away. They were sitting in a restaurant and there was this horrible, awkward silence as he sat there and digested. In the course of the episode, Lisa explores other ways she might have kids, including visiting a sperm bank and studying adoption.
I feel like this is a decent celebrity show. I am quite ashamed to say that one night I stayed up most of the night watching "The Ashlee Simpson Show". Oh, and I used to watch "Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica" as well. It's horrible. The best I can tell is that it is fun to watch rich, pretty people struggle with day to day life as well. In my mind, I always imagine that I am wealthy and skinny, and that somehow all of my problems go away. But wealthy pseudo-celebrities have problems too....they grapple with things like what dining room set to buy, or where they are seated at a major awards show. Money does not solve problems, in fact it just might create lots more. For instance, they might not be wondering how they will pay rent this month, but their SUV might need a part shipped in from Sweden, and the won't be able to pick up the priceless end table they ordered especially from Italy. I guess the lesson here is I want those problems instead.

photo credit: www.filmworld.com.au

mind games

So the true question is....is the cat playing mind games on me, or am I playing mind games on the cat? Mama gets fed twice a day. First, when I get up in the morning, and then when I get home from work. The problem is that on the weekends, I am coming and going at all hours, and my schedule does not fit the framework of when she is usually fed. (7am/7pm) So, the weekend has become a time of power struggles and negotiation. I come home, she makes a run for the kitchen, I go sit down and watch TV. (Beth 1/Mama 0) It's the middle of the night, I am dead asleep, Mama launches herself at my head, and begins the five hour quest to get me out of bed. (Mama 1/Beth 0) It worries me that the cat seems to be getting smarter. It has gotten now that she can walk all over my head, heck, she can dance a jig...and I don't necessarily even wake up...but she has pulled out the big guns. She has begun to lick my face. This really grosses me out for several reasons. First, at some point every day, I see the cat licking herself in a place that nicely reared Methodists don't speak about in mixed company. Secondly, she has breath of death. However, the little darling has figured out that licking me wakes me up and gets me moving. Hmmmm. I thought I might stop cleaning her box in retaliation, but somehow we all seem to lose with that plan. I am just worried that she is becoming bolder by the moment, and is hatching some evil plan to take domination of the apartment. Example: tonight, I was eating dinner in my big overstuffed ugly chair, and she was sitting behind my head at the top. Suddenly, she starts nibbling/licking my ear, I react, and she runs down my body (shoulder, b**b, tummy) and makes a grab at my plate. Seriously. After I had evicted her from the chair, I'll be damned if she didn't jump back onto the top of the chair facing the other way. She is wily, and I now consider her a worthy opponent. Do most people have these kind of problems with there seven pound cat? More later...must go and strategize.

emily mortimer

After a beautiful Saturday, Sunday become dark, dreary, and rainy. So, I headed to the movies. (argh) Frankly, there is very little that I want to see right now, so I decided to go and see a film that an actress that I am starting to follow her career is appearing in. The actress is Emily Mortimer ("Dear Frankie", "Match Point" and "Lovely and Amazing"). The film was "The Pink Panther". The good news? It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, and had some genuinely lovely moments. The bad news? It wasn't as funny as I wished it was. There was some funny dialogue:
"Do you live alone?"
"Yes."
"Do you get lonely?"
"Not since the Internet."
Well, I am a simple person, and I thought that was funny. Jean Reno is actually the person who stuck out to me in this film. He was essentially the straight man of the film, but did it really well. He is going to be in the upcoming "Da Vinci Code", and I am very much looking forward to that. So, there were funny moments, and some not-funny moments. Beyonce sings a song, and she sings well, so that was nice. Hm...I guess that is all.

Final thoughts: Perhaps to rent? Eh, can go either way.

the perfect saturday in new york

It's a Saturday in March in New York City, and the high today is 65 degrees. So, I throw on some capri pants, and head downtown to see a movie. (I don't do sun.) Anyway, the film was "Failure to Launch",and sadly, although it eventually launched, there were some delays, and my luggage was lost. The truth is, it had everything that a fun romantic comedy needs....attractive man and woman in contrived situation that will ultimately divide them, but they will eventually overcome and find true love with one another. The thing is, I am not sure how you would ever forgive someone for doing these things to you. Matthew McConoghajkgh (no clue how to spell his name, and too lazy to google....don't judge me!) plays this guy who still lives with his parents. When he is ready to break up with any girl he is dating, he brings them home to meet his parents (Kathy Bates and Terry Bradshaw. Hm.) Enter the always fabulous Sarah Jessica Parker who is a personal motivator who helps lure men away from their parents homes by teasing them with the possibility of sex. So, she is hired and the hijinks ensue. Matthew Mchaiueaopgnf's friends are played by Bradley Cooper (quite possibly the love of my life, formerly of "Alias") and this kid called Justin who is quite cute, and apparently played the handicapped kid in "Gigli" (mom, a movie I haven't seen). Her friend is played by Zooey Deschanel. So, I am going to spoil a little bit....so don't read if you plan to watch and want to be surprised......Surprise! Matthew Mcaejkanpj finds out that Sarah Jessica was hired by his parents, and is incredibly hurt, and asks why they just didn't ask him to move out. I would be pissed. Having someone that you end up really caring for turn out to be a non-sex giving hooker? Um, I would grab my bear and lobster, and run away for the hills, never to trust again. Well, that is me....somehow things work out, and they all live happily ever after. It was fine...I mean, I don't go to romantic comedies to watch real life unfold. That's why I go to indies. There is nice eye candy.....I am glad that there was a sort of nautical theme so that the gentleman could prance about half naked. Movie-making at it's best. But I digress. The true highlight of the day for me was walking up through Times Square eating my coldstone ice cream! I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!!

Final thought: Isn't the worst thing I've seen, and some likeable characters. Fun to watch if you believe in suspending your disbelief.

photo credit: www.eonline.com

my brother

I wonder how many other people are cursed with an amazing sibling. Enter my brother, Jonathan, aka Superman. I love my brother.....don't get me wrong. He is one of my favorite people....and I would die for him in a heartbeat. However, he is so annoyingly brilliant, it drives me crazy! Right now, he is somewhere in Canada, hanging out with our father. Jonathan is one of the top 100 Verizon salesman in the country. Ew. In the last five years, he has been in the top 100 for four of those years. He is also possibly the funniest person I know. And to top it all off, he and his wife are expecting a baby in the next few weeks, and it is a freaking boy! How can I ever compete. I think I'm funny, Jonathan tells a funnier joke. I want to get a cat, and he and Angie decide to finally have a baby. I sing in a recital for my voice teacher, he wins a nationwide competition and takes my father to where the next winter Olympics are going to be for an all-expenses paid trip with helicopter rides. Bastard! I sign the lease for my apartment without my parents cosigning, and he buys a BMW. I tell you...there is nothing quite like being the other child.

Mom/Dad: We'd like you to meet our son Jonathan. And this is Jonathan's little sister.

And what tops it all off? He has a lovely singing voice.

photo credit: www.actgov.org

only in new york

Yesterday morning, as I was dragging myself into work, I had the kind of morning that one can only have in New York. I was walking across 28th street, and as I approached Madison Avenue, I finally noticed the nineteen or so firetrucks and the hordes of people on the sidewalk. The building next door to mine was on fire, and I sat there in silence watching the smoke billowing out of the windows. My first thought was that I hope no one got hurt. My second thought was I hope they close the office and I can go home and watch Lifetime movies and torment the cat. As I made my way through the crowd, I came across a man speaking animatedly on his phone standing over a box lying on the sidewalk. I looked down, and the box was full of fish. I looked at the fish just lying there in a pile, and I wondered how this moment came to be. Did the man get in a fight with someone and throw down the fish....or perhaps he tripped and dropped the fish. Why did he have a box full of fish in the first place? Why were the fish just in a box, and not in a cooler with ice or something? Were there other boxes of fish...if so, was he driving a van? Was he delivering the fish to a restaurant, or were the poor fish drug mules like in that movie "Maria, Full of Grace"? How can you see a man with a box of fish and not wonder all of these things? Sadly, I never found out what he was doing there with a box of fish, nor did I take a picture. Plus, to top it all off, the office stayed open and the cat got another day of freedom.

12/20

The Oscars have come and gone....and what I mostly learned is that Western movies have always been pretty gay. I must give kudos to the always hilarious Jon Stewart, who did a great job. Sadly, of my predictions, I only got 12/20 correct. I mourn. The one thing that I am good at, watching movies, well, it turns out that I might not be so good at it after all. [sigh]

photo credit: www.msn.com

they're here!

My predictions that is. He he. I digress. Yes my friends, the Oscars have finally arrived. This is the most Holy of days, and tomorrow I will be a true follower of the Oscars. I hope that you too might take some time to watch and enjoy. I love movies....the stories, the experience. I love sitting down with popcorn and sweet nectar of the Gods (coke), the lights dimming, and getting lost in another world and life. Am I a dork? Yes. Am I ashamed of it? Yes. Will I watch the Oscars and keep score? Yes. I ask each of you to find your inner dork, embrace it, and enjoy the Oscars for what they are.....beautiful people in expensive clothes and jewelry.

THE PREDICTIONS
Best Picture
Brokeback mountain, Capote, Crash, Good Night and Good Luck, Munich
Should Win: Munich (I adored this movie! It was brilliant, provocative, painful.)
Will Win: Brokeback Mountain

Actor
Philip Seymour Hoffman, Terrence Howard*, Heath Ledger, Joaquin Phoenix, David Straithairn
Should win: Philip Seymour Hoffman or David Straithairn
Will win: Philip Seymour Hoffman (Unbelievable performance. See it.)

Actress
Judi Dench, Felicity Huffman*, Keira Knightley, Charlize Theron*, Reese Witherspoon
Should win: Keira Knightley (Breathed new life into one of the most well known heriones in the history of literature.)
Will win: Reese Witherspon (She does a great job.)

Supporting Actor
George Clooney, Matt Dillon, Paul Giamatti, Jake Gyllenhaal, William Hurt*
Should win: Jake Gyllenhaal
Will win: Paul Giamatti (Is an amazing actor who should have won last year for "Sideways".)

Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, Catherine Keener, Frances McDormand*, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams
Should/Will win: Rachel Weisz (Perfect in the role.)

Director
Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Crash, Good Night and Good Luck, Munich
Should/Will win: Ang Lee, Brokeback Mountain (Although, all nominees are very worthy.

Animated Feature
Howl's Moving Castle, Tim Burton's Corpse Bride, Wallace & Gromit
Should win: Howl's Moving Castle OR Wallace & Gromit
Will win: Wallace and Gromit (I love cheese!)

Writing (Adapted)
Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Constant Gardener, History of Violence*, Munich
Should/Will win: Brokeback mountain (Once again, all of these are worthy)

Writing (Original)
Crash, Good Night and Good Luck, Match Point, The Squid and the Whale, Syriana
Should Win: Good Night and Good Luck OR Syriana
Will Win: Crash

So, sit back and enjoy the Oscars. I know I will (especially with Jon Stewart hosting)! Then, after they are over, we can begin to focus on the overwhelming task at hand....seeing all of the new movies coming out.

*-I did not see the performance.

photo credit: www.oscar.com

why i'm a bad christian, and will burn in hell forever

Every year, I like to pretend I'm Catholic and give up something for Lent. It is a tradition that I can thank my friend Beth for, who at Eastman, in order to make her Catholic life easier, forced all of her friends to do Lent with her. So, after much consideration, and a fabulous Fat Tuesday (yeah NYC Pizza!) I decided that I was going to give up baked goods and desserts. This meant no more Starbucks scones for breakfast, or giant cookies after lunch, or birthday cupcakes at work. I fobbed off my cookies in the apartment to my poor, starving roommate and got ready to face temptation. I woke up this morning, and it all went well. I was not attacked by a fleet of marauding muffins, nor was there a birthday at work. I innocently go to my 10:30 meeting and return to the office to check my e-mail. In my inbox sat an e-mail from satan........informing me that my girl scout cookies had arrived. What are the odds? Seriously, what are the odds? I went and picked up the boxes, paying my $10.50 and returned to my desk to contemplate life, the challenge of Lent, and whether to embrace that I am a Methodist, and just eat the freaking cookies. Two cookies later I decided to give up fried foods instead.

photo credit: quinnell.us